We’ve all sat in meetings where one person keeps advocating for their position ceaselessly. They appear not even to listen to others, but instead are busy preparing their next comments while others speak. Allowing others (or yourself) to get stuck in advocacy mode does not help reach consensus, and even hinders collegial debate. It also puts at risk the solutions, because not all parties will have been sufficiently heard. In my experience, solutions that are reached collaboratively are more readily accepted by all parties and have a much stronger chance of enduring with broad stakeholder support.
One strategy to avoid getting stuck in advocacy mode is to encourage all to really “try on” opposing views as if they were their own. Accept them temporarily and see if they “fit” and align with other facts, assumptions, and belief. Another tip, is to utilize norms of behavior for meetings. Your organization may even have norms of behavior already – be on time, be respectful, be fully present (no checking email, for example), bring your sense of humor – I suggest adding a norm to encourage everyone to use BOTH advocacy and inquiry, with a tendency toward inquiry.
Yes, we need to be able to speak up and advocate for our perspective or solution or department, but we also have to inquire. We inquire about other perspectives and other concerns. Have a few fall back questions prepared, so that if the occasion arises when you are feeling so entrenched in your position that you feel your heat rising, you don’t have to think of a question, you have a fallback.
You can use or adapt these:
I know I’m passionate about this, can someone else jump in and play devil’s advocate?
I know I have an opinion – I want to know how others feel (or what others think).
What would you like to see happen next?
Sometimes, if I have presented an issue and a possible solution to my department, my questions or prompts are intended to invite dissension.
OK guys, what am I overlooking?
What could go wrong?
Am I being too optimistic?
Have we thrown something off the table too quickly?
Or, perhaps the whole group agrees on something, and they agree (a little) too quickly and vehemently? An echo chamber is as unhealthy as a one-sided meeting in which one person pushes their opinion relentlessly.
OK, let’s put the brakes on and think about this?
Are we rushing to an answer?
Do we need to consult some others to check in on our plan?
If you have other suggestions for furthering a culture of inquiry, please leave them in a comment! We can all use some tips to help us grow.
